Faith

There are a million things I should probably be doing right now but I have a quiet moment so I thought I would write a blog instead :) Michael is usually at work today but he decided to take off today to help with the babies and he had some family passing through town that stopped to see the babies. So, I am curled up on the couch while Michael tries to convince Ethan that he would like to take a nap :) 

The babies are still doing really well! They are growing so much and it makes us so proud them! Someone at church yesterday commented on how big the babies are getting and the stereotype that because they are triplets they should naturally be smaller. That is the case for some triplets yet ours have continued to flourished and we are so thankful that we have not encountered many issues with their growth and development. We are still continually amazed at how God has blessed us and these babies. 

We are approaching the one year anniversary of finding out that we were going to have triplets. I hope to never forget that moment. We knew that we were pregnant with twins--Baby A (Ethan) and Baby C (Levi). There was still question about Baby B (Naomi) if she was going to develop. I should of known then that this might be a clue of what her personality might be like because she is a fighter, stubborn, and feisty...she may or may not be my daughter :) So, Michael and I went into the ultrasound not knowing what we were about to see. Michael thought it would be twins, yet I had this gut feeling that I was pregnant with triplets. As I laid on the table our beloved Patty started to do the ultrasound. She warned us that she may not say anything at first until she looked everything over--we should of known then. So, the ultrasound began and she looked all over and then start labeling the babies--A, B, and C. She then measured each of the babies and we listened to their heartbeats. I was 8 weeks pregnant yet there hearts were so strong sounding. It was very evident that not only had Naomi decided she wanted to stay along for the ride but that she had caught completely up to the boys. All Michael and I could do was laugh at each other. Patty printed off the pictures for us and then we waited to see the doctor.

As we waited to see the doctor all we could do was stare at the pictures. We were in awe of them and already so in love with them. We were experiencing a thousand different emotions all at the same time. The doctor then came into the room with my chart and she sat down. She came in ready to defend her work as the doctor, their practice, and the fertility center. She went over all of my numbers again with me. She said that my estrogen levels weren't high enough and that I only had 3 follicles that were 16mm, 15mm, and 12mm. She explained, once again, that in order for a follicle to be mature it must be 18mm. They went ahead and did the IUI on the chance that the 16mm would mature and form a baby. We knew from the beginning that they didn't want me to carry multiples due to the risk I would carry personally and the risk that the babies wouldn't survive. As she sat there and explained it all to us she said--"Research cannot explain these babies. You should not have these three babies. If someone came in again with your same condition and numbers we would do the same treatment with them because this shouldn't of happen." If there was ever an affirming moment in my life or a moment when I knew that God truly existed and is all that He says He is then it was that moment. 

So all of this brings me back to the topic of faith. I felt in that moment that God, with a twinkle in His eye and laugh in His voice, said to me, "Oh you of little faith why would you doubt me?" My sister recently sent me an article about mental health and Christianity and the stigma that is often surrounds it. There is a belief that the two don't coincide and and is the result of one's lack of faith. I am pretty passionate about that subject so she will often send me things about that topic because I believe it is so largely ignored and misrepresented in our culture. And then I was reading a blog that I follow that was touching on homelessness and the poor and how that is often seen as a result of a lack of faith. And then yesterday in church our pastor was talking about faith and he was mentioning a meeting he was apart of where they were discussing why it is difficult to always have faith. He mentioned infertility and a chord was struck in my heart.

All of that began running in my head and I began to think about our anniversary coming up. I can't say that I had great faith during our infertility process. I started the journey with "great" faith yet at every disappointment my level of faith continually decreased. If I could be honest then I would say I was starting to feel faith-less. I was beginning to question if God truly was going to answer the desires of my heart. We were on our 4th round and the doctor had already said that there was a 25% chance that this was even going to work and my doctor said he could offer a 100% chance that I would never conceive a child on my own. Nothing seemed to be going in our favor and we had already spent $2,000 of own money on this round of treatment. How were we going to pay for another round when we had just spent all of our savings? 

My sister and I were recently talking about how we love that we believe in a God who welcomes our questions, doubts, and concerns. That He has never backed down from them before and is okay with our authenticity. I figured a long time ago that I minus well be honest with God since He already knows my thoughts anyways. I am so thankful that I worship a God who continually acts on my behalf despite my lack of complete trust. 

So, back to that moment at the doctor's office. As the doctor told us that we shouldn't be having these babies I also experienced a type of peace that I've never experienced before. As we learned of the risks of carrying multiples, the risks to my personal health, the complete bed-rest at 20 weeks, having to quit my job, our financial concerns, and even on the day of delivery when the preeclampsia had set in and they were worried about Naomi's heartbeat there was an overwhelming peace that I felt. 

I'm not sure that I could ever testify of our experience with fertility and take any claims that I was faithful and believed the whole time that God was going to perform a miracle. However, I can say that I never stopped believing that God was/is able. I couldn't ever say that I knew the outcome or that God was going to grant me my petition of having children, yet I never doubted that He was/is able. For a good portion of my teenage years and early college years I would say that I definitely doubted that God was able. Through my questioning of God and counseling I discovered God to be able. I also discovered that despite my faithlessness that God would be faithful to me. I still haven't wrapped my head around that one and probably never will. However, I do know that I will strive to work on being continually faithful and along the way I will probably have more questions yet God will welcome my authenticity and continually show me that He is able. God is truly faithful to His people if we believe--after all, it only takes the size of a mustard seed but some days it seems like those mustard seeds are the size of glaciers. Thanks be to God that He pursues His children and never gives up on us.

I think this song sums it all up:

 

6 months old!

We had our 6 month check-up with the doctor yesterday and the babies are doing GREAT :) I love our pediatrician and he is always very reassuring that we are good parents and aren't screwing them up--or doing any psychological damage :) The babies are now weighing in at:
Ethan: 16lbs, 4oz (30%) and in the 70% for height
Naomi: 12lbs, 15oz (3%) and in the 50% for height
Levi: 16lbs, 1oz (25%) and in the 10% for height

Poor Levi may of inherited the Wood gene of being short until about 8th grade and then shooting up into the sky. My brother was the same way and I was taller than him for a long time. The doctor was not concerned about their weights, heights, or heads (Michael is always concerned about that). 

We also talked with the doctor about a new feeding schedule. We have a little more flexibility now which is great and not-so-great at the same time. I thrive on a schedule so we are still playing around with how we want to reorganize our feedings now that the babies are eating food. We have started feeding them 2x a day and they love it (for the most part!). We have eaten brown rice, oats, barley, sweet potato, pumpkin, butternut squash, applesauce, bananas, and today we ate carrots. We are leaving the cereal behind us (mostly) because it was clogging everyone up so we are headed for the veggies and fruits. We are also buying a used triplet feeding table off of someone and we are SUPER excited! It is going to be great and help us out A LOT! It can also double as a craft table for when they are able to be more crafty :) 

Everyone is trying to sit up and Naomi has mastered the backwards scoot. Naomi is our "mover child" so whenever she figures it all out we aren't sure that we are going to be able to stop her. She is little but she is fierce and stubborn--she gets it from her daddy ;)

Everyone is laughing and smiling more often which makes life more enjoyable. They love to laugh especially when we are undressing them--it is so cute! The babies have finally realized that Michael and I are people and not just "blobs" so it has become more fun to play with them and do things to make them laugh/smile. They have also become quite the bouncers--we have an exersaucer that they love and we recently bought an over-the-door bouncer that is in the kitchen so they can help us cook. 

We also got a Radio Flyer Triplet Wagon that I am SUPER excited to use! They are too small for it now and may not be until next year until we get to use it but nevertheless I am still excited! It was on sale, and then had another HUGE discount on top of that, and it had free shipping so we couldn't pass that up. When you have triplets (or probably multiple children, I assume) then you are always looking for ways on how you are going to transport them. Its a tricky situation. We also have a triplet stroller that we use. We went to Macy's last week with the stroller and we had to use the elevator which we conquered. We did have to carry the stroller sideways down a hallway and into the elevator but we did make it! We have discovered, in some ways, that the world is not made for triplets yet we are slowly conquering them and sometimes we have to eat outside a restaurant because the stroller doesn't fit through a single door :) Or we have just taken to eating in the car. 

We are also approaching the teething stage--blah! There are a few things that just aren't quite fair that you have to go through at the same time such as teething and shots at the doctor. We did master the shots this time though by bringing along some milk. It's just difficult when the third child gets the shot--because one of us (Michael) has to hold their arms down so they don't move and then one of us comforts (me). So, after the 2nd baby I have 2 screaming babies while Michael holds the 3rd and then we have 3 screaming babies and only 2 adults. But we did great yesterday! We brought them some milk which calmed them down pretty quickly and we were able to move along. We were at the doctor's office for about two hours though but, have no fear, we are charged 3 co-pays :) Okay, back to teething. It is pretty exciting though because we can see them in their gums they just need to pop up! And then there is probably a whole other world waiting for us...

We are also in the process of mastering bedtime. I'm not a big fan of the cry-it-out, yet I know we might have to brave it one day. We tried one night and Michael made it maybe 1.5 minutes before he went in :) BUT last night it worked perfectly! We didn't cry it out and we tricked them into sleeping in their cribs. I fed them the last 1oz of their bottle in their cribs and everyone was fed, in their cribs, and asleep in 15 minutes and no one cried! Yay! Hopefully it works again tonight! 

Well, I feel like that was a bunch of jumbled up rambles but I had to type quickly! I wasn't planning on writing a blog--I actually need to be printing out some paperwork to fill out for my dreaded school loans but Ethan is sleeping and I'm afraid if I print something he would wake up. And I am willing to do just about anything to have 3 sleeping babies at the same time! I'm going to work up uploading some pictures at some point so I can show how much they have grown! Hopefully the next blog will be sooner than later :)