Unofficial Exciting News!

So, we had our Week 14 update this week! Good news...we don't have to return to the specialist ever again. According to Dr. Bellardo we can put them "in our rear view mirror" ... gotta love that man! The babies are all doing well and going quickly! It was exciting to see them again even though we just saw them a few days ago. They all have stomachs, bladders, and kidneys now. Their bodies are also becoming a lot more defined and they definitely look like babies. This time we even got a CD of baby pictures and at 20 weeks we get a DVD! I am also doing well right now and the pregnancy has been going great!

We also asked if the doctor could define bed rest for us--he said that it means I can go to the bed, to the couch, go to the bathroom, take one shower a day, and I can sit at the table for dinner. I asked if I could go out at all and he said that only if it was for something that was really important to me. But he said that every time I go out and I exert myself a little more than I might be more likely to go into labor sooner. So, the goal is to sit or rather lay down and keep all the pressure off of my cervix. 

We go back again in 2 weeks for another appointment and for an ultrasound. At that time they are going to start progesterone shots--so we are currently in another battle with insurance :( Hopefully we will get everything settled quickly and they will want to pay for it. The nurse is also going to teach Michael how to give me the shot so I don't have to go in weekly for the appointment. So, hopefully Michael does well and I am a good shot receiver :) Although it did sound kinda nice if I got to go to the doctor weekly so then I could at least go out :) 

And now the exciting news...its exciting, but not official. The ultrasound lady, Julie, tried to find the gender on our three precious babies. It was definitely pretty pronounced on Baby C but she is pretty positive on all of them :) You can tell us what you think as well! 

So, I know the pictures are not the greatest but it does look more pronounced when you look at the pictures in person! It is definitely easy to tell our boys (Babies A & C) and it is kinda difficult to see about Baby B. It is easier to see it though in the ultrasound picture. Julie, our ultrasound lady, was able to prod the babies and get them all to spread their legs or turn over. So, its not official news because they don't announce gender until 20 weeks but it is looking pretty positive! As of right now it looks like we have 2 boys and 1 girl! Yay! We are excited--we really wanted one of each since we don't know if we will have anymore after this. I'm sure our girl will be spoiled--she is already wrapped tightly around her daddy's finger ;) Michael is also excited for his boys--he needs a playmate :) So, we are over-joyed with the news! 

I still have about 6 weeks left of life as I currently know it so we are still trying to work everything out. Michael is still on the hunt for a second job but in the meantime has been able to work some overtime and worked the holiday this past weekend. We appreciate all of your prayers and continued support for us on this journey! 

Make sure you check out each of the babies pages as I am going to add pictures of them! They are growing quickly!! Love them so much already :)

Week 13 Update!

Happy 13 weeks! So, we are ending the first trimester which feels great. I am feeling pretty good other than being completely exhausted. I am definitely showing now, yet I found out this morning I have only gained 3 pounds--so it seems as if everything has just repositioned itself to my middle section :) Today we had an appointment with the specialist regarding the Cervical Cerclage...and the answer is NO! I am pleased to say that I will not need one :) My cervix is great right now and is measuring normal. So, they did more ultrasounds this morning to measure my cervix and then they looked at the babies. They will definitely not win the award for Ms. Congeniality. We are somewhat confused as to what our relationship will be with them so we will clarify that with Dr. Bellardo on Tuesday. I am hoping that this was the end of our relationship today yet the doctor wanted me to schedule another appointment for 2 weeks. I am hoping that I will be able to cancel that appointment after meeting with Dr. Bellardo. I probably just need to lower my standards :) I want everyone to be as friendly as Dr. Bellardo and Patty, our ultrasound lady at NFC.
It was amazing to see our babies again though! I fall in love with them a little more each time I see their little bodies. It is amazing how they are continuing to grow and develop. The babies all have good heartbeats and it was wonderful to hear them on the doppler. I have no reason to think that the babies are not okay, yet it is definitely reassurance when I can see them and hear their little hearts beat. Baby A had a heartbeat of 162, Baby B had a heartbeat of 149, and Baby C had a heartbeat of 157. The babies are definitely looking more and more like babies and I love seeing their little hands and feet. The ultrasound lady also zoomed in to show their stomachs and their bladders. It is amazing to see their development! We are both so in love with these little babies :)
So, after the ultrasound we met with Dr. Graves. She was friendly, yet she was not my beloved Dr. Bellardo. She wants me to stay on the Metformin that I am currently taking. She believes that I will develop gestational diabetes because I have PCOS and my father has diabetes. She said that Metformin is a class B drug so it will not harm the babies if I stay on the medication throughout the entire pregnancy. So, we will talk to Dr. Bellardo about this on Tuesday--I was looking forward to not taking so much medication but it looks as if I will continue. Also--this doctor believes that making it is 32 weeks will be the icing on the cake. She said that 28 weeks is like the bronze medal, 30 weeks is silver, and 32 is the gold medal. She said that if I make it to 34 weeks then it will just be the cherry on top. So, I am still going to pray for 34 weeks and stick with Dr. Bellardo's goal. She said that my first milestone will be 28 weeks though. I want to stay optimistic though and try and maintain the pregnancy as long as possible. 
We also discussed bed-rest yet I am going to wait and talk to Dr. Bellardo more about it before I try to think about it too much :) She did mention that bed-rest does not mean that I can go to the laundry room, get a load of laundry, and then take it back to the couch to fold...haha :) This is going to be difficult for me, yet I am going to try my best for these little babies. 

So, in other news--I still have about 6 weeks left of work and I am trying to finish up my practicum. I found out that I am going to be short a little bit on my hours in 6 weeks so I am going to try and pick up some more hours to finish everything on time. My work still wants me to pursue long-term disability and they want me to fill out the paperwork. I'm not sure it will work, yet I guess I will try. Michael is still looking for a 2nd job for when I become unemployed in about 6 weeks. Hopefully he finds something soon :)
I have also called the insurance and settled everything with them. We are definitely blessed! I have been really concerned about how we were going to pay for all of this yet we do have good insurance so it is not going to hurt as bad as I thought it would! So, we will just take it one day at a time and pay as much as we can right now. 
We are also beginning to collect a few baby items. Some friends gave us some clothes and a changing table. We also bought a dresser off of Craigslist. It needs a little bit of work yet I think it will be cute once we fix it up. We also decided to change bedrooms with the babies so we are going to move all of the furniture around. We are still figuring out how to decorate the babies' room--we have been googling pictures of babies' rooms to try and get ideas. Michael's parents are going to come in June, I believe, to help fix up the babies' room. So, hopefully we come up with some ideas before then :) 

Well, that is all of our news for now. We have another doctor's appointment on Tuesday so I will update with more information then. We are so happy that the babies are growing and developing like they should. Check out each babies page as I am going to add the new ultrasound pictures of them. They are not the best pictures but maybe we will get better pictures on Tuesday :) 

  Here is all 3 of our babies at 13 weeks! I'm not sure if that is their heads or bodies ;)

The secret is out!

So, our secret is out! We made the announcement on Mother's Day and it was so wonderful to see everyone's responses to our news. We have been overwhelmed with all of the support and love that we have received. It definitely makes all of this seem a little more manageable because of how many people want to help and support us. So we made our announcement by buying little onesie's and using the iron-on paper. When we thought I was having twins we were going to use double-stuffed Oreos and we did discover that there are now Triple Double-Stuffed Oreos but we thought that it might be too confusing--so we are just eating those :) Our announcement worked though and now we have little onesie's for them if we can remember who is A, B, and C :)
So, this is week 12 which means that I have 8 weeks left until bed-rest. I celebrate every week because the babies are growing and getting bigger, yet it is also a reminder that I will soon be going onto bed-rest. I am so exhausted right now that I think I could enjoy the first couple weeks of bed-rest and then I am not sure what I will do. I know it will be okay though--this is what is best for the babies right now even if it is somewhat of an inconvenience to our lives--I guess that's parenthood :)
My sister sent me this quote that she found on pinterest--
 "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."   -Joseph Campbell
I should probably needle-point this quote where I can see it when I get discouraged. I am so excited though about the life that is currently waiting for us with these three babies. I think it will definitely be an adventure that we will forever remember and it will be a time that we cherish--even if we are overwhelmed with the practicalities and necessities of life. 
I was also reminded on Sunday when we made our announcement at church that for every baby that is announced there is someone else that is grieving because they are unable to get pregnant. I remember feeling joyful when others announced their pregnancy yet at the same time wondering if my dream would ever come true. Infertility is such a private journey which I think is what makes it so lonely at times. Now that we have overcome the infertility we talk about it and discuss the journey, yet I am not sure I could have blogged through that struggle. I kept a private journal during that time yet the pain was so intense at times that I'm not sure I could have shared except with someone who knew the journey themselves. There seems to be a bond between people who have dealt with infertility--there is an unspoken connection between people because as much as people want to understand there is no true understanding unless you have been there. I think that is true of many things though--cancer, death, miscarriage, or any painful event. So, for every person that is still waiting for their miracle my heart goes out to you for I truly do know how it feels.
We are blessed though--beyond blessed. I try to remind myself often throughout the day as I feel stressed about the logistics of our work, finances, and material possessions. Those are just things and we can learn to live without many of those things because there truly is a better life (three lives) that are waiting for us. We have accomplished what some doctors did not deem possible and we have defied research with these triplets. I'm not sure words could express how much I am in love with these three babies :) 

Happy Mother's Day!

So, tomorrow is my first Mother's Day (sort of). It is amazing to think that I will be a mother in a few months (well hopefully several months--we need these babies to stay in). It is exciting, yet I am a little nervous at the same time. I want to be the best mother that I can be for these babies. I know I will have my share of my mistakes, yet I believe there is something to be said for the intentionality of planning to be a mother (we have already established that I am a planner). I have had a lot of time to think about it and what I want my children to learn from me (and I will have a lot more time as I sit on the couch during bed-rest). There are several things that I don't want my children to learn from me that I have become more cognizant of through self-awareness, counseling, marriage, and my master's program. Things that I am working hard to change so that I can be a better example to them. The greatest thing I want to teach our children is love--I want our children to never doubt Michael and I's love for them. We have loved these children before they even existed--we have prayed for them, I have pleaded with God for them just like Hannah, and we have dreamed of them. Of course we didn't dream we would have all three at once :)

Even though I have been dreaming of this moment since I was a child these children are a part of us. I think that it is almost just as, or more, amazing to me. I don't love Michael anymore now that we are having children yet there is a stronger connection to him in some ways. As a result of our love we have created these babies that will contain pieces of both of us (hopefully more of him) and they are testaments of our love and faith. Today in class we were discussing what marriage is really about and the professor read a quote from the movie Shall We Dance? (one of my favorites)

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet...I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything--the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things...all of it, all the time, everyday. You're saying, "Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness."

I'm so glad that Michael is my witness to these babies--he stuck with me through the rough, emotional moments and he was a constant support. Even though his optimism can be a little annoying sometimes :) Having children is somewhat similar--we will be their witnesses until they find significant others. We will be there through the good and bad and be a constant support to them. We will love them, encourage them, and support them. I'm so excited to be on this journey of motherhood especially because of who their father is :) He is going to be wonderful and his love for them already is amazing. So, tomorrow is Mother's Day but it seems even more than that it is a celebration of what our love has created. I'm so excited :)

P.S. So, I talked with my employer some more yesterday and we are going to explore the long-term disability a little more before I have to put in my resignation...so who knows but I am beginning to have more peace about it all :)

Overwhelmed (it continues)

So, I am now officially 11 weeks pregnant--the baby bump is forming :) The babies are getting bigger and so is my stomach area! It is cute right now but I have a feeling I will get huge! Our pregnancy is still a "secret" right now so I try to wear baggy shirts where it either looks like I'm pregnant or I am just gaining weight :) We are planning on announcing our pregnancy in 2 weeks. Hopefully we can hold it in until then--it is getting harder to hide it and one of us in this relationship likes talking :)

So, the overwhelming part of this pregnancy continues. I mentioned in the previous post that I was trying to apply for short-term disability. So, as it turns out I don't qualify for short-term disability because I work part-time. So, then they thought I could apply for long-term disability. However, there is a 90 day evaluation period before payments would begin and by then I would have the babies. And then to top it off I don't qualify for that either because I have not been with the agency for a year. So, that leaves me with one choice--I will be turning in my resignation. It is bittersweet. I am excited because my dream of becoming a mother is finally becoming a reality, yet we are about to be in huge financial stress. So, we have 9 weeks left.

Michael is trying so hard--bless him. He is really trying hard to provide for us and has been applying for additional employment. I feel so blessed to have him and I know he will work hard to provide for us. I never doubt his love for me or the babies as he reminds me several times a day--I am beyond blessed.

All of this leaves me in a pretty helpless position, yet Michael reminds me that my body is "working hard" to make these babies strong. It doesn't really feel that way right now except I am exhausted all of the time (except in the middle of the night). Of course I also have to pee a million times a night (okay, like 4) so that leaves my mind a lot of time to think. I am working hard though at trying not to dwell on all of the logistics right now. It's not easy--I know it will work out yet I have no idea HOW it will work out. So, hopefully sometimes happens soon. These babies are coming no matter what so we just have to make the best out of our current situation. So, keep us in your thoughts and prayers--we are incredibly blessed though by our three miracle babies :) There will be a way--there has to be...

Overwhelmed....

So, I'm not sure where to begin (again). It feels like the past few days have been somewhat overwhelming. As I mentioned in the previous post--Michael and I have been very optimistic about having triplets. We have had the horror stories and Googled pictures of women pregnant with triplets (that was more scary for me). We still felt fairly confident until Thursday around 11:30am. I will start with the happy news though. We had our 10 week ultrasound on Thursday at 10:30am. It was amazing! The babies are doing so well and growing quickly. 

 

The first picture is of all three babies! They are precious. Then they are in order of Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C. My mom was in town for graduation so she was able to see the babies as well. It was amazing to see their hearts' beat and to see their little bodies. The ultrasounds do not do it justice. Everyone's heart beat is at 171 which is great and Baby C has caught up to Baby A. Baby B is still a few days behind yet is keeping up with the other babies. The sibling competition has already begun :) We weren't able to get a good picture of Baby C because it is the furthest from my cervix, yet you can still make out the body shape. We got the best picture of Baby B and you can see its little hands. All I can do is just stare at these pictures and marvel at these wonderful miracles inside of me. I never knew how strong a love could be for a person that you have never met, yet I love these babies with everything that is within me. Even now as I type this blog I keep scrolling up to get one more glimpse of the babies. So, that is our happy news (and the best news!) 
So, I have an amazing OB who I have been with for about five years. He has also been my semi-therapist who has taken me through some rough patches. He always encourages me and makes everything okay--I met a different side of him on Thursday. He was truly honest with us. Michael and I's optimism somewhat got shot in the foot. The doctor told us that his "heart sank" when he received the letter stating I was having triplets. Michael and I knew the complications, yet I'm not sure I fully understood (or even understand right now). It hurt to have my doctor say that--I know it was not meant to be hurtful, yet that is the moment I became a realist (again). On the good side, my doctor told us of his experience with multiples and training and he reported that he feels confident staying with me through this pregnancy. I am relieved about that because I trust him so much. The doctor is also sending me to a specialist to find out if I need a cerclage--I'm not sure the risks outweigh the benefits so I am leaning towards "no." However, we will hear the doctor out and then make a decision. I see the doctor again in 4 weeks and then I will be taken off some of the medication I am currently taking. At 16 weeks, I am going to start seeing the doctor weekly to get progesterone shots which will help to maintain the pregnancy. The doctor said that he could train Michael on how to do it but Michael said I am not a good "shot receiver" so we'll see :/ It might be better for me to be hurt by the nurse rather than Michael :) 
And then...the doctor said the words bed-rest. I knew some women go on bed-rest but this was not a part of my plan. If you know one thing about me then you probably know that I am a planner. I like plans, I find comfort in plans, and I don't usually see the sense in deviating from the plan. I can be flexible at work, yet I like some sense of control in my personal life. And I am not a changer. At every restaurant we go to I have found out what I like and I always order the same thing. At new restaurants I find something I like and claim it as "my dish." I know exactly which lane I need to be in on the interstate and I follow it. I park in the same general parking spot at the grocery store. I have the same morning routine and I am in bed by 10pm every night. I'm boring--I will admit it, yet I find comfort in this boring-ness. And you also probably know that I am not one to sit around and do nothing. The past 2 years I have worked 40 hours a week and completed 12 hours a class a week. Since January I have been doing 18 hours a week at my practicum site. I like to stay busy--I find satisfaction is staying busy. So, with all of that in mind I will finish the doctor's appointment. The doctor told me that I will go onto strict bed-rest when I reach 20 weeks (July 12th). What?! The doctor said I can sit on the couch and I am not to walk anywhere. The doctor is hoping that I can make it to 34 weeks and have 4 pound babies. It is my goal as well, yet I didn't realize all of the complications associated with triplets. I will potentially be on bed-rest for 14 weeks. I will be 34 weeks on October 18th. July to October--sitting on the couch. I think my heart may of sunk in that moment as well...
 So, I'm sure as you can all imagine this has created some additional challenges. The doctor is going to help me apply for short-term disability so my job will still be held for me. We are not sure how that will work either. Michael is looking for a second job. I made it through Thursday without crying, yet I woke up around 4:30am on Friday with all of this on my mind. I made it until 5:30am until I woke up Michael. He held me while I cried for the next hour. I learned when the infertility journey began that I was not in control, yet I am learning it more and more everyday. So, what does the future hold? I have no idea. I know that we have been blessed with three miracle babies that we will love and cherish. I also know that I love these babies with an intense love which means I will give up my plans, dreams, and control in order to best take care of these babies. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue this process because it is all easier said then done. We are also looking to join a support group for parents of triplets. We will continue to keep you updated on these precious babies :) 
And now my stomach is rumbling with hunger--the doctor told "not to be bashful" about eating so I will take joy in that news :)