Overwhelmed....

So, I'm not sure where to begin (again). It feels like the past few days have been somewhat overwhelming. As I mentioned in the previous post--Michael and I have been very optimistic about having triplets. We have had the horror stories and Googled pictures of women pregnant with triplets (that was more scary for me). We still felt fairly confident until Thursday around 11:30am. I will start with the happy news though. We had our 10 week ultrasound on Thursday at 10:30am. It was amazing! The babies are doing so well and growing quickly. 

 

The first picture is of all three babies! They are precious. Then they are in order of Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C. My mom was in town for graduation so she was able to see the babies as well. It was amazing to see their hearts' beat and to see their little bodies. The ultrasounds do not do it justice. Everyone's heart beat is at 171 which is great and Baby C has caught up to Baby A. Baby B is still a few days behind yet is keeping up with the other babies. The sibling competition has already begun :) We weren't able to get a good picture of Baby C because it is the furthest from my cervix, yet you can still make out the body shape. We got the best picture of Baby B and you can see its little hands. All I can do is just stare at these pictures and marvel at these wonderful miracles inside of me. I never knew how strong a love could be for a person that you have never met, yet I love these babies with everything that is within me. Even now as I type this blog I keep scrolling up to get one more glimpse of the babies. So, that is our happy news (and the best news!) 
So, I have an amazing OB who I have been with for about five years. He has also been my semi-therapist who has taken me through some rough patches. He always encourages me and makes everything okay--I met a different side of him on Thursday. He was truly honest with us. Michael and I's optimism somewhat got shot in the foot. The doctor told us that his "heart sank" when he received the letter stating I was having triplets. Michael and I knew the complications, yet I'm not sure I fully understood (or even understand right now). It hurt to have my doctor say that--I know it was not meant to be hurtful, yet that is the moment I became a realist (again). On the good side, my doctor told us of his experience with multiples and training and he reported that he feels confident staying with me through this pregnancy. I am relieved about that because I trust him so much. The doctor is also sending me to a specialist to find out if I need a cerclage--I'm not sure the risks outweigh the benefits so I am leaning towards "no." However, we will hear the doctor out and then make a decision. I see the doctor again in 4 weeks and then I will be taken off some of the medication I am currently taking. At 16 weeks, I am going to start seeing the doctor weekly to get progesterone shots which will help to maintain the pregnancy. The doctor said that he could train Michael on how to do it but Michael said I am not a good "shot receiver" so we'll see :/ It might be better for me to be hurt by the nurse rather than Michael :) 
And then...the doctor said the words bed-rest. I knew some women go on bed-rest but this was not a part of my plan. If you know one thing about me then you probably know that I am a planner. I like plans, I find comfort in plans, and I don't usually see the sense in deviating from the plan. I can be flexible at work, yet I like some sense of control in my personal life. And I am not a changer. At every restaurant we go to I have found out what I like and I always order the same thing. At new restaurants I find something I like and claim it as "my dish." I know exactly which lane I need to be in on the interstate and I follow it. I park in the same general parking spot at the grocery store. I have the same morning routine and I am in bed by 10pm every night. I'm boring--I will admit it, yet I find comfort in this boring-ness. And you also probably know that I am not one to sit around and do nothing. The past 2 years I have worked 40 hours a week and completed 12 hours a class a week. Since January I have been doing 18 hours a week at my practicum site. I like to stay busy--I find satisfaction is staying busy. So, with all of that in mind I will finish the doctor's appointment. The doctor told me that I will go onto strict bed-rest when I reach 20 weeks (July 12th). What?! The doctor said I can sit on the couch and I am not to walk anywhere. The doctor is hoping that I can make it to 34 weeks and have 4 pound babies. It is my goal as well, yet I didn't realize all of the complications associated with triplets. I will potentially be on bed-rest for 14 weeks. I will be 34 weeks on October 18th. July to October--sitting on the couch. I think my heart may of sunk in that moment as well...
 So, I'm sure as you can all imagine this has created some additional challenges. The doctor is going to help me apply for short-term disability so my job will still be held for me. We are not sure how that will work either. Michael is looking for a second job. I made it through Thursday without crying, yet I woke up around 4:30am on Friday with all of this on my mind. I made it until 5:30am until I woke up Michael. He held me while I cried for the next hour. I learned when the infertility journey began that I was not in control, yet I am learning it more and more everyday. So, what does the future hold? I have no idea. I know that we have been blessed with three miracle babies that we will love and cherish. I also know that I love these babies with an intense love which means I will give up my plans, dreams, and control in order to best take care of these babies. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue this process because it is all easier said then done. We are also looking to join a support group for parents of triplets. We will continue to keep you updated on these precious babies :) 
And now my stomach is rumbling with hunger--the doctor told "not to be bashful" about eating so I will take joy in that news :)